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  • Writer's pictureStephen Williams

Child Custody is about Deciding Who You Are…Not What You Do

There’s a big difference between saying “I quit smoking” and “I’m not a smoker.” Especially in DHR cases, you can’t be effective in your Child Custody case by checking boxes. It’s about deciding who you are and the decisions and actions that flow out of that.


Are you the kind of person who is assertive but patient, kind but forthright. If an issue in your case is financial trouble are you just working more to get more money or have you invested in and improved a skill set which allows you to generate more value in the market.


The best part is, you get to decide. Once you make that “burn your ships behind you” decision about who you are you will know, or else the universe will surely tell you, when your decisions and actions are out of alignment with your identity.


Two last quick points on this…

One, get specific with your language. There are lots of “good parents” with kids in DHR foster care. There are many fewer “responsible, disciplined parents” without their kids. Once you dial in your language, ask yourself, “what does that look like?”. A responsible parent probably has a daily routine, household budget, a calendar, a contact list with names of doctors, teachers and contact information. A “good parent” is much harder to describe…and has a case that’s much harder to make.

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