It’s okay to be embarrassed, but NOT to be ashamed
(2 ½ min read) Ever made a mistake as a parent? as a person? A big one even? What did you learn from it? What are you doing differently now that you’ve had that experience? Would you go back in time and undo that mistake? What opportunities do you have for yourself and others because of the mistake?
If all this is true, then why would you ever be ashamed of it? Why would you be scared that the Other Side is going to “bring it up” in your Child Custody case? (See also “Can the Other Side bring this up?” in one of our FAQs).
The key ingredient that makes the difference is ownership, not fear. It’s the “confession” portion of formulaic Christian prayer.
That feeling of embarrassment is a good thing. It’s what makes the mistake memorable which allows you to learn from it. Embrace it. Associating the mistake with shame and fear motivates us to repress it. It’s the feeling when you don’t even want to look at your email inbox or your credit card statement or the scale and so nothing ever gets done to solve the problem you’re afraid of facing.
Lastly, and I glossed over this earlier, when you are merely embarrassed rather than ashamed, the Other Side can’t touch you. When you’re not afraid of your past or your mistakes, when you know in your heart and mind that you are a better person…and a better parent…because of what you’ve been through, when you are ready, able and willing to share your experiences with any Judge or anybody anytime, your past becomes your superpower.
This article contains general information and should not be construed as legal advice for you and or your unique situation. If you would like to speak more about how you, as a Committed Parent or Caring Relative, can be more effective in your Child Custody case, please visit www.ThinkFoxtrot.com/public_calendars/ to schedule your initial consultation at one of our offices. ~SW, Foxtrot