Setting the Table in Life, Child Custody, and Co-Parenting
Updated: Aug 5, 2022
We need to set the table. It doesn’t have to be complicated, but we need to do it. Ever sit down for a nice meal at home, you’re excited, hungry and ready to relax…maybe you’ve finally put the kids down, poured a glass of wine and started up Disney+ ready to veg…only to realize you or your partner need a napkin or a fork or anything else from the kitchen. Now you’ve got to uncurl yourself from the coffee table and go grab whatever you forgot.
~ This is a first world problem for sure, and an opportunity for gratitude, but let’s not lose the lesson. Set the table…even if it’s dinner and Mandalorian at the coffee table, even if it’s a difficult conversation you need to have with a #CoParent, and especially if it’s your day-to-day calendar, your routines and rituals. A little bit of preparation and planning goes a long way.
~ The value here is greater even than not forgetting a napkin or whatever other metaphor I could extrapolate. Setting the table can become part of the fun, part of the process, part of #findingflow. It reminds us to cultivate quality in everything we do, that how we do anything is how we tend to everything. Setting the table provides immediate and positive feedback, whatever the project. It’s a small win before you’ve even sat down to enjoy the nice meal or tackle a more complicated challenge. As we like to say, it’s #winningtwice.
~ A violinist sets the table for more than a decade before a performance at Carnegie Hall. A football team sets the table for a week before taking the field. Perhaps the least we can do is patiently, presently and mindfully set out a couple of napkins.