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  • Writer's pictureStephen Williams

Your Child Custody Priority Rankings

If you have too many priorities you don’t have any. We’ve all heard that, no? Have we ever sat down and thought about or, better yet, written down and ranked our priorities? Heck, sometimes as Parents, especially in the throes of #childcustody and #coparenting, it doesn’t feel like we’ve ever sat down, much done deeper reflection during any quiet moments we find or manufacture in the midst of our busy, stressful days.


But here’s the trick, you can’t just say “my kids are my priority.” ‘Cause no shit. What does that mean? Heck, being a “good father / mother / parent” is better than the first blanket statement. The more detailed you can get, the better…

~ Consider a football team whose priority is just “winning.” Yeah, we get it, but that’s not helpful in developing a game plan. On the other hand, a team that “establishes the run game to wear down the defense and set up play action and move the ball in bigger chunks later in the game” is workable. If your priority starts to sound like a strategy then you’re on the right track.


What then, is an example of a #childcustody or #coparenting priority that’s a lot better than just saying “my kids are my priority”? How about “showing interest and engagement in what your kids are interested in and engaged in”? Heck, how about learning what they’re interested in or engaged in if you don’t already know?

~ But, Stephen, it’s not that simple. Again, no shit. That’s WHY we prioritize, we rank…to make a complex situation more simple. Whatever you decide your priorities are, here are some guidelines: (1) start with your values, (2) make it actionable and (3) make it something you can control. So let’s apply these 3 points to my example above…


First, showing interest in your kids’ interests may be based on your value of achieving one’s potential or enjoying the process of developing a skill or knowledge base. It’s actionable because you can ask questions and decide, as an adult, whether you mark and attend certain events on your calendar or whether you schedule outings with your child which align with their interest. It’s something you control because “more time with the kids” may be limited by the Other Side or Court Order, but HOW you spend that time IS something you control.

~ Rank your priorities in Child Custody and Co-Parenting. Know that anything off the medal stand is something you probably won’t get to. And if you do, you might not be making the first few things enough of a priority. Works both ways.


If you would like to learn more about how you, as a Committed Parent or Caring Relative, can clarify your values, rank your priorities, stand up for those values and priorities and be more effective in your Child Custody case, please visit to schedule your initial consultation at one of our offices.


This article contains general information and should not be construed as legal advice for you and or your unique situation. ~SW, Foxtrot

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