Foxtrot Family Law Resources

Stephen Williams

Jan 4, 2021
1 min

Child Custody Terminology & Frameworks – The 3 Levels of Attention for Issues in your Case (VIDEO)

The word “concern” is often misused, and most of the time willfully so, in #ChildCustody cases. When DHR, the Other Side or any other witness starts tossing around what they’re “concerned” about that should be a red flag that the witness doesn’t actually know anything. Terminology is important, and we need to start using “concern” the right way, and it’s the 2nd of 3 levels of Attention we talk about with our clients in our cases. We are always concerned with what is importan

Stephen Williams

Dec 10, 2020
1 min

In Child Custody, Get it in Writing (Part 1 - VIDEO)

Oldie but a goodie and still give this #ChildCustody advice everyday. Oh what I would tell this Child knowing what I know now. But first, I’d get him some new headphones, yikes! #CoParenting #ThinkLikeALawyer

In Child Custody, Don’t Seek Happy. Seek Progress.

Stephen Williams

Dec 7, 2020
1 min

In Child Custody, Don’t Seek Happy. Seek Progress.

In his book, Zappos.com® founder, Tony Hsieh, wrote that ““[u]ltimately happiness is really just about enjoying life.” Ultimately, though, Mr. Hsieh ended up endlessly seeking happiness or the next thrill and surrounding himself with yes people who took advantage of his largesse. Happiness, if it is anywhere at all, is right where you are. Happiness, though, in our opinion, is actually a terrible goal. If you’re not happy now, nothing you get or that changes will make you hap

Child Custody Devotional – PERMA-nent Custody

Stephen Williams

Nov 8, 2020
1 min

Child Custody Devotional – PERMA-nent Custody

Happiness isn’t just about feeling better, but that’s part of it. More positive emotions obviously correlate with well-being, but the problem is it’s tough to control our emotions and #CoParenting and #ChildCustody is chaotic enough without judging each feeling or reaction we have to something. ~ That’s where a model like the PERMA model, pioneered by Martin Seligman, may provide some context and more effective framework for CoParents and Caregivers. ~ Although you may not be

Stephen Williams

Oct 23, 2020
1 min

In Child Custody, Dominate the Details.

I’m gonna say three things that can all be true about the same situation. I’m trying to get in better shape. I’m going to the gym a few times a week. I meet with my personal trainer, Daniel, each Monday, Thursday, and Saturday and 6:30 a.m. Which is good? Which is better? Which is best? Here’s one we hear plenty in our line of work. I’m looking for a job. I’ve been applying for jobs. I’ve interviewed with Company A and I’m waiting to hear back. I’ve also filled out applicatio

Child Custody Devotional – “Good” versus “Bad” in the Judgment-Free Zone?

Stephen Williams

Oct 18, 2020
2 min

Child Custody Devotional – “Good” versus “Bad” in the Judgment-Free Zone?

We’re lawyers so we’re big on terminology. From both a practical, legal and even spiritual sense, words have power. I’m looking at James 1:17, from the Christian Bible, today and I’ve got to make a note for the record. ~ So, the King James Version of the verse reads as follows: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above…” ~ Here’s my problem. Foxtrot operates in a judgment free zone, especially when it comes to our clients. There is no “good”; there is no “bad”. (S

You can choose your Child Custody reality or just agree with someone else’s.

Stephen Williams

Oct 7, 2020
1 min

You can choose your Child Custody reality or just agree with someone else’s.

Rarely do we get our philosophical insights from YA fiction, but Alabama-born author John Green’s “The Fault in our Stars” reminded us about this thoughtful work by René Magritte. The French translates to “this is not a pipe”, i.e., it’s merely a representation of a pipe. In #ChildCustody terms, we remind clients that when the Other Side, DHR or anyone else says or reports anything, for better or worse, all that literally means is that they said it, and we are entitled to inv

Stephen Williams

Aug 23, 2020
1 min

In Child Custody…Look Up, Not Around

In the long run, we don’t have to prove anything to anyone. We are all miracles as people and parents, but we forget that when we look too often in the wrong direction. ~ We are running our own race. If we make decisions and take action in line with what we believe in, the chips will fall where they may and there will be setbacks…But we’ll be authentic. We’ll have agency. We’ll have peace. ☮ ~ #childcustody #parenting #coparenting #familylaw

The Benefit of Small Victories in Child Custody

Stephen Williams

Jul 30, 2020
1 min

The Benefit of Small Victories in Child Custody

When you want your kids with you so badly in a #ChildCustody case, it’s easy to focus so much thought and energy on the “BIG WIN” that you take for granted the million little ways to make your situation just a little bit better for you and the kids. Here’s 3 things to appreciate about small victories: 1. They make you happy. Hey, a win is a win. 2. The build confidence. You’re a winner; you’re capable; you have agency in this world. And… 3. They get you one step closer to you

In Child Custody, Give Credit Where Credit is Due

Stephen Williams

May 8, 2020
1 min

In Child Custody, Give Credit Where Credit is Due

Quick #ChildCustody Tip on a #FoxtrotFriday…but it’s a tricky one and requires just a little perspective and self awareness. Can you testify to one thing the Other Side does well to serve your children? Or one thing that you, yourself, could improve on in your parenting? Giving credit where credit is due and conceding room for improvement reflects maturity and can reduce the appearance of bias. #ProTip: Think of these things right before day-to-day interaction with the Other

Do You Have an Appointment with Your Kids in Child Custody and Co-Parenting?

Stephen Williams

Apr 30, 2020
2 min

Do You Have an Appointment with Your Kids in Child Custody and Co-Parenting?

Do you have an appointment with your kids in #childcustody and #coparenting? Court hearings are set by appointment; that’s called due process and it’s important enough to be in the United States Constitution. Why not have specified times and days for your Facetime or your phone call with your kids? “Because adults ought to be able to figure this out,” you might hear from other folks, even lawyers and judges, who don’t know your life, your situation or what you’ve been throug

Thinking about Thinking about Child Custody…

Stephen Williams

Apr 25, 2020
2 min

Thinking about Thinking about Child Custody…

Do you think about thinking? Pretty meta, huh? More specifically, do you think about WHAT you think about? Do you think about HOW you think about WHAT you’re thinking about? It’s a mouthful, I know. Thanks for hanging in there. Let’s look at some examples to help demonstrate… Are you thinking about what the Other Side is doing or about what you’re doing? One’s not better than the other and there is a season for each. What is the “action” of the thought? Are you planning? refl

Stephen Williams

Mar 20, 2020
1 min

Thinking of Playing the Corona Card?

Please talk to a doctor AND your #childcustody lawyer before withholding a parent’s visitation with or custody of a child in violation of Court orders. It could look like you’re just playing the Corona Card and it’s looking like my team and I are going to be at a lot of contempt hearings when the Courts open back up. #parenting #coparenting #familylaw

When in Doubt in Child Custody…March Forth!

Stephen Williams

Mar 4, 2020
1 min

When in Doubt in Child Custody…March Forth!

When in doubt or the face of danger…March Forth! Today, March 4th, the only calendar date that states a command, is a favorite of ours at Foxtrot. (For you fellow wordsmiths and grammarians out there, let’s just say it gets us in an “imperative mood.”) When has doing nothing ever been the answer? When do #childcustody conflicts get better on their own? There’s no magic bullet. There’s no secret sauce. And it just takes one small step to get things moving in the right directio

Stephen Williams

Feb 18, 2020
1 min

I Can’t Even Find Out Who Has Custody of My Child (VIDEO)

Some folks don’t have it as good as the rest of us. Sometimes we respond to issues and questions that give us a broader perspective on the issues parents and relatives face in #ChildCustody and #CoParenting. For every nuanced issue about decision-making and deciding between Standard Visitation or Joint Physical Custody, there are parents that don’t even know where their children are or who they’re with. It’s too easy to blame these people for letting the situation get this fa

Stephen Williams

Feb 14, 2020
2 min

Tell Your Child Custody Love Story

When folks think about #ChildCustody they might think first about anger and sadness, but it’s really just a Love Story…. It doesn’t have to be two folks dragging each other and their children through something horrible, but it can turn into that if you’re not operating at the highest level. We believe that #CoParenting and the Family Courts, at their best, are an opportunity to make lives better, not worse. At its core, Child Custody is a Love Story, and it’s up to you to tel

The Best Answers I’ve Ever Heard in Child Custody Cases – Communication Issues

Stephen Williams

Feb 10, 2020
2 min

The Best Answers I’ve Ever Heard in Child Custody Cases – Communication Issues

You’ve heard the phrase the ends justify the means. I’m not sure that’s true. I think being thoughtful, intentional and then authentic in your decisions and behavior is the best course in #ChildCustody and #CoParenting, whatever the ends might be. That said, this is one of the best answers by a witness I’ve ever heard and if it wasn’t authentic, then I’ll just admit to being hoodwinked… A grandmother had Physical Custody of a child and the Mother had a visitation schedule. I

Are Mothers Really “Favored” in Child Custody Cases?

Stephen Williams

Feb 7, 2020
1 min

Are Mothers Really “Favored” in Child Custody Cases?

“There can be no doubt that our Nation has had a long and unfortunate history of sex discrimination. Traditionally, such discrimination was rationalized by an attitude of ‘romantic paternalism’ which, in practical effect, put women, not on a pedestal, but in a cage.” Justice William Brennan There is certainly a perception that the family courts “favor” mothers in #ChildCustody disputes. For the most part, this issue is brought up by fathers concerned that they won’t get a fai

Sunday Child Custody Devotional – Accountability and Proverbs 27:17

Stephen Williams

Jan 26, 2020
2 min

Sunday Child Custody Devotional – Accountability and Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17. Accountability is crucial to sharpening your #ChildCustody and #CoParenting skills and to leading your family effectively. The opposite of accountability, simply put, is complicity. If you are not holding yourself, your children and even and especially the Other Side accountable, you are complicit in their behavior and the results you’re seeing in your life. The last thing we’d say is that you are responsi

Get Mad in Child Custody…but Don’t Stay Mad

Stephen Williams

Jan 23, 2020
1 min

Get Mad in Child Custody…but Don’t Stay Mad

Anger is inevitable, especially in #ChildCustody and #CoParenting. Relevant research shows that completely avoiding negative emotions in life is practically impossible. The important distinction, though, is how long we stay in a negative emotional state and what we do with the energy that comes from that state. Anger can actually be valuable. It’s much better than apathy. At least your brain is letting you know that something is wrong. Apathy is much more insidious because t

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